Marriage.

Marriage is not always easy. There have been a lot of disagreements that we had to compromise in order to come up with a solution. I marry my husband for better and for worst. And even though in the beginning of the marriage it is a little rough, there is nothing like having a partner to talk and listen to. It is not easy living with someone and compromising all the time, it takes patience and love to really achieve it. This June we will be together for nine full years. Oh my goodness nine imperfectly perfect years. 

            We started dating during our teenage stage, and well it is a time of exploration, and identity. At that stage we are trying to figure out the world, and the things it can offer. I left to college. I decided to build a relationship with God, and was a firm believer that everything always happened for a reason. I was confident in everything I wanted in life, but sometimes I would doubt myself. 

            I was a Christian with high expectations in life, but I would doubt a LOT. I knew that those feelings were not coming from God. In an instant I started doubting if He was even real. I grew up in the church, and knew that He was real, but during times of confusion and being alone you tend to get lost… I got lost, and stopped seeking the Lord, and decided to do things with my own abilities. I decided that being “religious” and always being the “good kid” in the group was not convenient, and then I decided to stop living. 

            It brought issues in my relationship with my boyfriend (my now husband). I was rebellious, and wanted to live the college life. I then tempted him to have sex with me. I knew I should have not dragged him in my problems. But I was hurting, and needed distraction. He then was in my same boat. However, he was stronger in everything, and I was sensitive, and selfish in the relationship. He decided that he would be patient with me, and prayed for me. He never judged me, or put me down. He was healthy mentally, and wanted me to get better. I became anxious, depressed, and self-conscious about myself. But my boyfriend motivated me, and was there, he listened and loved me. 

He could of walked away and left me there with my own problems. But he made my problems his, and worked along with me. I then realized that love is not always flowers, letters, jewelry, or ect. It is the act of love, showing up, being there, and loving you regardless of your flaws. I learned how to love myself, and truly Love others. My husband met this perfect Christian girl nine years ago who was confident, and sometime during the relationship she went downhill without looking back. His patience, and his Faith in God saved me. God saved me. And through my Husband I was saved by His Grace.

Growth

I am a human with so many flaws. I have gained and lost friends. It’s part of life as we grow older and develop into our new stage of life. Each stage it’s so crucial, you will not only learn so much about yourself, but you learn how much your presence can affect others. I have to remind myself to keep on pushing. If I am breathing than I need to live a beautiful life. There are moments in my life that I feel behind or left out within the generations. Growing into a positive mindset takes time, and practice. Trusting the process of our destiny. We don’t always wake up everyday and like the persona that is reflected in the mirror. Sometimes we will feel discouraged, and even contemplate life. Everyone has doubted their purpose in life once.

I encourage you to keep pushing and breathing this beautiful life. Be yourself, and always stand to what you believe in. Always trust the purpose. A tree grows every year, and regardless of the changes in the environment, it evolves within the seasons each year. A tree will never stop being a tree during cold winter days. So you will never stop being you regardless of your environment changes. You will grow, and evolve exactly where you need to be in life.

Be Unique

There was a time in my life I enjoyed pleasing others. I was the people pleaser who hardly said NO to anybody. I wanted people to like me, and to be a genuine friend to them. I always said what you wanted to hear. I was never the honest friend, I wanted you to like me. Through the years Life taught me so much about people, and the power we had to control many things in our life. I was never a negative person I desired to be good to others. One day I realized I did not have to be friends with toxic people who overwhelmed and drained me. I could say NO to them because I was not entitle to do anything for them. I was not a jerk about it, it just took me time to realize my worth in life. I started Loving myself more, I took care of myself, I enjoyed being with myself. I said YES to myself. Life will hit you hard sometimes, but as long as you have yourself there for encouragement, and motivation nothing will ever stop you.