Learning to Trust

Wow, it has been a while since I have last posted, almost an entire year. It has been a whole busy year focusing at work, and school. Trying to seek balance in life has not been easy. I had started my practicum last year, so that kept me really busy. I am currently, still seeing clients as a student counselor, and working full time, and going to school. How do I manage, you may ask? Well, I have a support system. I could not do it on my own. My husband is a huge support, and motivates me when I am feeling discouraged. Life has taught us a lot of lessons. Life challenges are lessons that need to be learned in order to grow, or to take us to the next level in life. I am currently in a stage of learning. I am learning to trust the process, and most importantly trusting in God. It is easy to tell people to just trust in the Lord, and everything will be okay, because we are not physically going through the same trials as our neighbor, it is not our lesson to learn. However, when you are on your knees begging for strength to keep going, and to put all your problems to God, it is when He lift us up, and hugs us with His immense love. In that moment of trial you start learning to trust in God. It is a process. Every lesson learned takes time. Some days will be easier than others. For example, I don’t become a counselor by taking one class, and then BOOM I get my license. Even though that would have been great, I would have save a lot of money, and time, but then I wouldn’t be an adequate counselor. However, I am starting to trust the process, and that each stage I have challenges that will equip me to be a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a counselor. Learn to trust the process. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. – Proverbs 3:5

Pray for world peace!

The mind is powerful, it has potential to change our emotions, and the perspective we view the world. Because it is powerful it is important for my mind to be fed with the power of God. Today I am thankful for my life, and for being prosperous in health. I am thankful for a loving husband, and a supportive family. I pray for healing in our world. There are people who are hurting financially, mentally, and physically. This is a time people can seek for inner peace. The world is silent. Get off your phone for a couple of days, and enjoy the moment. This week I will seek self-awareness of my physical body, and mind. I will be fasting, and praying for the world. I want my mind to be at peace, and I want to grow my relationship with God. I will be praying for guidance, and direction in this path of life. I will take a moment and acknowledge the love the Lord has for my life.

“Even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, and weeping, and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. -JOEL 2:12-13

” Bible Study Tools, http://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses.

Marriage.

Marriage is not always easy. There have been a lot of disagreements that we had to compromise in order to come up with a solution. I marry my husband for better and for worst. And even though in the beginning of the marriage it is a little rough, there is nothing like having a partner to talk and listen to. It is not easy living with someone and compromising all the time, it takes patience and love to really achieve it. This June we will be together for nine full years. Oh my goodness nine imperfectly perfect years. 

            We started dating during our teenage stage, and well it is a time of exploration, and identity. At that stage we are trying to figure out the world, and the things it can offer. I left to college. I decided to build a relationship with God, and was a firm believer that everything always happened for a reason. I was confident in everything I wanted in life, but sometimes I would doubt myself. 

            I was a Christian with high expectations in life, but I would doubt a LOT. I knew that those feelings were not coming from God. In an instant I started doubting if He was even real. I grew up in the church, and knew that He was real, but during times of confusion and being alone you tend to get lost… I got lost, and stopped seeking the Lord, and decided to do things with my own abilities. I decided that being “religious” and always being the “good kid” in the group was not convenient, and then I decided to stop living. 

            It brought issues in my relationship with my boyfriend (my now husband). I was rebellious, and wanted to live the college life. I then tempted him to have sex with me. I knew I should have not dragged him in my problems. But I was hurting, and needed distraction. He then was in my same boat. However, he was stronger in everything, and I was sensitive, and selfish in the relationship. He decided that he would be patient with me, and prayed for me. He never judged me, or put me down. He was healthy mentally, and wanted me to get better. I became anxious, depressed, and self-conscious about myself. But my boyfriend motivated me, and was there, he listened and loved me. 

He could of walked away and left me there with my own problems. But he made my problems his, and worked along with me. I then realized that love is not always flowers, letters, jewelry, or ect. It is the act of love, showing up, being there, and loving you regardless of your flaws. I learned how to love myself, and truly Love others. My husband met this perfect Christian girl nine years ago who was confident, and sometime during the relationship she went downhill without looking back. His patience, and his Faith in God saved me. God saved me. And through my Husband I was saved by His Grace.

Listen to the Whisper of Love

Laughing our problems away. There were times I would take life so seriously, and wanted life according to society’s timeline. I know a lot of people have said “everyone has their own time line and to not get caught up with what society wants”. I understood soon enough that life was not a rush nor a competition. I had to take one step at a time. I had to stop at every step and enjoy it. I always had a an agenda with goals and plans of life. And boy, if that did not go accordingly to my plans, I would freak, and get anxious. However, this year I have let life be. Just going with the flow and started accepting where I am in life, and visualizing where I wanted to be without compromising myself or people around me. We are all uniquely different, and have so many gifts to share with this world. Gifts are not always materialistic things, it is sharing your love, joy, and kindness to others. Sometimes people just want someone to just listen, and to be there. You don’t always have to understand the thoughts or acts of people. You can listen and love.

Choose Joy!

My husband is very patient, loving, and kind. He shows me his love by covering me with the sheets when I fall asleep watching a movie. He takes care of me when I am sick, and he always makes sure I am comfortable. He always wants to make me happy. Is it not the dream of every girl? That the men make their wife happy. We all heard the term “happy wife, happy life”. Well, yesterday a speaker at our church, said that husbands are not to make us women happy, but to make us happier. So let’s break this down. Happy is only a temporary emotion. Now, it is important to understand that it is a huge responsibility allowing men to make us happy. It is the reason I believe it is important we find joy with oneself before we get into a serious relationship with our partner. It may seem that happy and joy fall into the same term. However, Joy is meaningful and internal. It comes from our spirit, so being joyful is not defined with pleasures of entertainments, but with moments, experiences, and achievements of others. It says in Romans 3: 3-5 “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Regardless of our circumstance God will bring joy to our heart lasting a life time. Be joyful in the moment You are living.

Dream…

So it is now August! Where has time gone. I mean were we not celebrating New years yesterday??? Life can past by us at a fast pace that we do not have time to even breathe, and look at the world outside of our bubble. So let lets remember to enjoy the moment we are living at. We might not get that exact moment ever again. Take time to breathe, go for a walk, meditate, talk to a love one or an old friend, make today meaningful. You don’t have to wait for that career, or for financial stability to live in the moment, all you need is to be breathing. I remember waking up some days and thinking what a bad day it already has been, and just wanting the week to end. I now believe I can turn my days around by just doing something I love, rather than contemplating about life. Let go of anything that is bringing your spirit down, and let God take control of your path. Listen to his voice, and you will go places you wouldn’t imagine. Dream BIG.

Fear of the Unknown

Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I thought of my journey in life so far. It has not been an easy path, but I have learned so much about myself as a person. I have grown and taken leaps of faith. I have learned to trust the process. God has a purpose and a plan for our life don’t give up. Life is beautiful, and yes sometimes is not always so bright. However, opening our eyes, walking step by step, listening to our heart, speaking truth, and being able to breathe has given me the ability to be grateful. I have always been scared of the unknown, I fear not knowing what tomorrow holds. I am still learning to trust in God and not fear of my future. I am growing and learning. I am outstanding, I am intelligent, I am beautiful, and I live a life with purpose. Be kind and loving to yourself everyday.

New Blessings

As the year comes to an end, I have realized the blessings God has poured in to my life this year. There were times of trials, and hardships, but God always manifested His Glory. This year I learned to be patient, and actually listen to my close ones. I always had a plan in my life. It made me feel secure about myself. However, most of my plans would not come through, and it would upset me. Until I realized no matter how angry or upset I would get, some moments were out of my control. I decided to give up trying to put all the pieces of my life together, and let God take control, because His plans will always be better than my own. It might not make sense right now, but one day this piece of my life will explain itself. 

Loving You

My husband it’s an amazing man. He is God sent, made perfectly for me. He has been patient and caring. As a women I always found myself being selfish towards him, and expected a lot from him. The moment I started appreciating than expecting I realized how strong our love is. In marriage we will need each other to be lift up. Life has not been easy for both of us. However, we have each other’s love, and most importantly have prioritize God in the center of our relationship. Love, pray, and laugh. We only have one life. Live and enrich each other with positivity.